The Edge Of Madness

She had to beat up a 15 year old boy to get it, but she got it.

I went to watch.

I had major schadenfreude laughing at the people who failed, which yeah, it's bad karma for me. But seriously, you're almost getting your black belt, you're meant to be able to beat the shit out of most people, and you start crying 'cos you don't get a belt? Nah, that was funny.

Plus I was stuck there for 5 hours, and Lana's thing only goes for 5 minutes. (Okay I did take my EEE PC and was watching Two and a Half men for most of it, but hey, I still got to whinge).

So went to check out Monkey Journey to The West last night.

It's basically a circus/opera thing. Now I was a big fan of "Monkey" on the ABC as a kid, so knew the back story.

First some background, as this probably judges my review a little.

I don't get Cirque de Soleil. I just don't get it. Give me some acts without the bullshit pretend story in between. I like that. I just don't get the point in having a stupid half arsed story.

Now onto the production.

It was at the O2, but not in the O2. You had to walk all the way through the O2 to a tent in the back. A tent.

On your tickets they tried to sell you to come early for the "Monkey Experience". This was a rort. All they wanted you to do was sit in the over priced tent restaurant and eat there. We didn't eat there. There was no "experience".

The seats were crap. For £60 I had less space than when you catch the tube. And the height was screwed to jam more people in, so if you had anyone average height in front of you, you were screwed.

The acoustics were crap. Live orchestra which was cool, but the sound system sucked. Because it's in a damn tent. And whoever was mixing, sucked badly.

The acts were okay, some of the blending between the live action and animation was fantastic. But let down by unpolished performance. In half a dozen places they missed their cues.

And it was in Mandarin. Yes, I know that's "authentic", but you built the show in the UK, why bother with that? Especially when the subtitles were to the side of the stage, meaning to read what the hell was going on, you missed half the show. In opera it's fine, you're not there for the "action", for the music, so you can look away. But here, it was plain stupid.

And the acts were average. Not highly skilled. Few good acrobats in the mix, but nothing jaw dropping amazing. And the costumes were amusing rather than great.

There was some great humour throughout though, and a sense of style. It just wasn't anywhere near polished enough yet, in either the act or venue for me to recommended it. But as I said I did enjoy the mix of live/animation. Just had a lot more potential to be great.

Been planning a visit to The Fat Duck (or as Lana likes to call it, "The Fat Fuck") for a while.

For those that don't know, 3 michelin star place, voted best restaurant in England by the food snobs, and 2nd in the world (1st in the world a couple of years ago). One of the pioneer's of molecular gastronomy.

Took about 3 days to get through to make a reservation....2 months in advance for a tuesday.

Rounded up 6 guys (Wheels, Paul, Ian G, Thanh and Rob), and of we trekked to check it out.

As usual, like herding cats to get everyone there, but we managed it, with 45 minutes to spare. So time for a quick pint in the pub opposite the road. Place is out in Bray, which is a village near Maidenhead, which is around 45 minutes by train out of London.

The tasting menu is £125. The wine matching is either £95 or £165. We had a big debate about whether to go the £95 or £165, but after we got there, bugger it, we all went for the £165 wine.

A fairly cool thing is they give you a copy of the menu with the matching wines. I will have to say the first wine was gorgeous, the rest were good, but never came close to the first, which was dissapointing. Also the sommelier was cool, and a few nudges when he was pouring for a little more, worked (yes we are so damn classy).

Following is the menu, then I'll go into some blather about a few things.

Nitro-poached green tea and lime mousse
Orange and beetroot jelly
Oyster, passion fruit jelly, lavender pommery grain mustard ice cream, red cabbage gazpacho
jelly of quail, langoustine cream, parfait of foi gras
oak moss and truffle toast
1990 Ockfener Bockstein Riesling Auslesse, St. Urbans hof, Mosel, Germany

Snail Porridge
2005 Meusault, clos des corvees de citeaux, lucien le moine, burgandy. (France)

Roast foie gras "Benzaldehyde" almond fluid gel, cherry and chomomile
2004 pinot gris, rotleibel de rorschwihr, rolly gasmann, alsace. (France)

Sound of the sea
Sake Shiboritate, Hyogo, Tatsuma-Honke (Japan)

Salmon Poached in Liquorice Gel
2001 Quinta Da Leda, Casa Ferreirinha, Douro (Portugal)

Ballontine on Anjour Pigeon
2003 Bolgheri Sassicai, Tentuta San Guido, Tuscany (Italy)

Hot and Iced Tea

Mrs Marshall's Margaret Cornet

Pine Sherbet Fountain

Mango and Douglass Fir Puree
2005 Breganze Torcolato, Maculan, Veneto (Italy)

Nitro-Scrambled Egg And Bacon Ice cream
200 Tokaji Aszu, 6 Puttonyos, Oremus (Hungary)

Petits Fours

First some general stuff, then we'll talk about the food.

Service was great. Friendly, attentive and fun. Took the piss out of us as well, when were stuffing around, which was great (for example, Paul decided to check if the sand was edible in the Sounds of the sea. So the waiter kept asking him if the next course was sand flavoured).

Heard the place was small, but we had a table out of the way. Which was good, since our conversation covered, "Do you think it would feel different from the giver if you were shagging a girls butt vs a guys butt?", the how would we surive the zombie apocolypse, and other topics, that I probably shouldn't mention.

The other guests weren't stuffy at all, which was damn cool for a 3 michelin place. Nice buzz around. Okay, I was also the only person in the restaurant in a t-shirt, but that's a seperate matter. And I wouldn't let them take my jacket either, but hey.

One table did have a bunch of 16-17 year old guys on it. So we were taking the piss out of them being silver spooners(as there was no fucking way at that age I'd have been able to afford something like this), and were planning to roll them for their shirts and shoes. But then Thanh had a convo with one of them in the queue for the toilets, turned out to be a nice bloke, and we decided we'd let them keep their shoes. Yeah, we're jealous class snobs.

I'll go through some highlights of the meal, rather than specifics.

The snail porrige was amazingly good.

This was the oak moss dish.

They poured some liquid nitrogen in, which also set off some great smells.

Rather tempted to reach behind me, and hit the whiskeys.

Sounds of the sea came out with an ipod, that played sea sounds while you ate it. Sounds gimmicky, but actually did seem to make it more sea tasting.

And it came out on a plate with sand under it (which Paul investigated with his bread knife)

And the famous egg and bacon ice-cream. Candied bacon, with icecream that tastes of bacon. Damn good and bizarre.

And finally the cash. For some reason most of us rather than putting it on the card, decided to pay in cash. Yeah, we're classy.

Just a picture of wheels being a pimp.

And finally the bill. Yes, there were just 6 of us. Came to £350 each (Thanh was £180 as he didn't have wine). Yep, you're reading right, £1908. The service charge(tip) of £212 or £35 each is more than I normally pay for a meal

Managed to get the last train back to London with about 4 minutes to spare.

Overall, it was great, but more of a once off experience. For the tasting menu. The huge pain it takes to trek out there, and get a reservation (you basically have to speed dial from 10am, and forget about a friday/sat booking), means I prob won't check out the a la carte, but I'm very tempted to.

For the tasting, once off, I wouldn't do the tasting again (though I might drag my parents/lana along for the experience). It does slot into number 3 of the best meals I've ever had though.

In case you're curious, my top 4 in order are - Tetsuya's (Sydney) Japanese, Nagaya (Dusseldorf) Japanese, Fat Duck (Bray) Mollecular Gastronomy, and the first 3 times I went to Gaucho's (London) Steak. Gaucho's has gone to hell though, think they've got a new supplier, which is no-where close to how good they were before. Don't really have a firm fifth I'd put in that list either.

And in the food snob steaks, got the chef's table booked at Claridges in January. And Lana's taking me to Royal Hospital Road (Gordon Ramsay's restaurant) for my birthday then as well.

I've been meaning to check out Le Cafe Anglais for ages. It's just around the corner from where I live.

Had some of their porky belly on broad beans at the London taste festival, and it was damn good. So have been meaning to check them out.

Going with Lana, but Lana's Dad ended up joining us for a bit.

To start with, decor is like you're on a 1920's cruise ship, like the Titanic. Which is pretty cool.

Had a bloody mary to start, which was damn good. But they had the other thing that pisses me off, 100 different wines, and 2 types of beer. Budweiser (who the fuck drinks this shit?) and Becks (which is okay).

Came time to ordering, a few things were missing from the menu, sardines, oysters & they ran out of radishes half-way through service. These were only things I was interested in, so who knows what else was missing. (And btw, there is a reasonable fishmongers in the same damn shopping centre as them (and 2 kick arse ones around the corner - Fish Shop in Notting Hill and James Knight). So I don't know why the fuck they couldn't just run downstairs. Very weird).

I had mussels to start. Which were pretty good, and a large portion for a starter.

Had the chicken with a garlic sauce. There was no pork on the menu, but they seem to do a different roast for each service during the week. It was pretty damn average. The tell for me was I didn't even come close to finishing my plate.

Lana had the Sea Bass, which was okay. But also order the spinach, which was just way too overcooked.

Service was erratic, but okay. An annoying thing with this bill as well, all automatically added on (the amounts aren't huge, but for them, it prob all adds up). £1.50 cover per person, £1 donation to charity, plus the 12.5% service charge. Cover? In a restaurant? And then a service charge? I've never had to pay a cover before.

Thanfully Lana's Dad had bailed early & Lana had gone to the bathroom when I asked for the bill, so they only put 1 cover and 1 suggested charity donation on.

All up, I give the place a 6/10. And 3 points of that were for the bloody mary, with the other 2 points for the decor.

Place was full though.

BTW, I have an irrational annoyance at people who are 40+ who have toddlers/babies/pregnant. Don't know why, it freaks me out. Especially grey haired people with their own kids. That really freaks me out. Not grandparents, that don't freak me out. Just parents do. There were a lot of those people eating lunch there. I should do a post about my irrational annoyance at some point.

One of the other things that annoys me is people in their profile pictures who have a picture with them and their partner. Or a picture with their kid. Don't care if it's elsewhere, just when ppl use it for profile pics on facebook or the like, it annoys me.

And women/men who change their surname to their partners when they get married. That bugs me as well.

All irrational. Really couldn't explain why they bug me. Just does. I also do have a list of rational annoyances.

bah, and after reading this post it's a bit of a blather. I've been baking cookies this afternoon for poker tomorrow night, so the fumes might have got to me.

So I went in for my 2 year eye test the other week.

Nothing too bad, my left eye was slightly worse (.25 worse). Right eye the same.

But the optometrist was looking in my eyes and said, you better get a cholesterol test done, as I see a lot of fat in the veins in your eyes.

So off I go to do that.

First the good news. Blood pressure perfect. Liver perfect. Sugar a little high, but only marginally.

Cholesterol bad.

I got a print out of the results, so I could google it to make sure they weren't just freaking me out.

Serum HDL Cholesterol level = 0.99 mmol/L
Serum LDL cholesterol level = 3.87 mmol/L

LDL is high according to wiki

and HDL is too low again according to wiki

The ratio is meant to be important as well, and my ratio sucks. HDL is good, LDL is bad, so need high HDL, low LDL.

I made the mistake of taking Lana along with me to here the results. Now I've been banned from steaks, and I've got to eat this stupid little yogurts every day to boost the HDL.

Got to take another test on December 19th to check if it's better, otherwise I've got to take some pills. And I really don't want to do that.